Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Oh Those Mental Monsters

Why am I running 18 miles again?

The thought crossed my mind more than once Sunday. In the midst of an 18-mile training run for the Diamond Valley Lake Marathon, I had many rambling and sometimes negative thoughts.

What am I doing out here?

I could have stayed in bed.

You know, you don't really need to be doing this.

I'd like to say that I snapped out of it but I don't know that I did. And if I did come out of it, it wasn't via a snap but rather a bending followed by a twisting and then a yanking.

Those mental monsters reared their ugly heads on Sunday. I succumbed to them for about three miles. Having a fellow Loper running alongside me for the final 13 miles helped get me through to the finish. Otherwise, I probably would have called it a run at 17 and not felt great about myself.

Now, if you read my post on Monday, you might be thinking that my mental battles forced me to come home, ponder my marathon training and then write that post. Truth be told, I wrote that post more than a week ago and was just waiting for a time to post it. I updated it and slapped it on the blog on Monday morning.

I don't think this is a call for help or anything. I don't think I'm going to stop running, but I do think I've not been as strong mentally as I have been in the past. Not sure if I'm experiencing the dreaded post-marathon blues and they are manifesting themselves this way, Or maybe it's just some form of over-confidence and I'm not working as hard as I did before I ran a marathon.

Whatever it is, the mental monsters have slowly crept in during runs and even before I head out on my runs. Once I'm out running, I'm usually okay but I was seriously questioning myself on Sunday. I didn't have to sign up for April 9. I didn't have to run another marathon so soon. I didn't have to run another race so soon, period.

In the end, though, I felt (and feel) good about my decision to run Marathon No. 4 here soon. I want to get four under my belt and want to have five done this summer, the fifth being the San Francisco Marathon.

It's late, and you're rambling.

Um, yeah, sorry to do that. And the post started off so good too... Anyway, I'll end this rambling and incoherent soul-searching post by saying this:

I need a break! April 10 will be a major rest day for me. I have races in June so I won't sit for too long but my mind needs a break, if nothing else to bury those mental monsters.


Jim ... 50after40 said...

I hear ya, I'm really fortunate right now to be in a great training period, but I battled it most of the winter. When the wind was whipping around at 10degrees, I would often ask myself "Are you serious, go back to bed!"

Michael said...

We all go through that sometimes. But take it from someone who wishes she was out there doing more - be thankful that you have the ability to be doing what you are doing. Maybe the next time you have that mental monster - think about all the people who are injured, etc who can't be out there - and be happy you are there injury free!

Kerrie T. said...

I feel like this happens every training cycle. It's just a little bump ya have to get over. :)

Glenn Jones said...

When you figure it out let me know. I've been fighting this since last year's L.A. marathon....