Monday, August 16, 2010

Motivational Mondays (Aug. 16)

Part of me feels bad, like I'm trying to push my girls out of the door. But another part of me is happy that one stage of our lives is over and progressing forward.

Last week was a monumental week for our family as Kennedy started school. She's now enrolled in and attending kindergarten, and is a full-fledged big girl, joining her sister who's been a big girl going on three years now.

It's been beyond fantastic having spent so much time with the two of them throughout their early childhood, they need to be doing their own thing just as much as I need some time to breathe.

I've been a work-at-home-dad since Kennedy was born, since before then. I did a bulk of the day-to-day activities with Kennedy from the time Mrs. LB returned to work after maternity leave (sometime in Feb. 06) until today. I don't know that I planned this growing up necessarily but it happened, and I'm fortunate. I really am.

LB: "So far she hasn't cried much, let's keep it that way."
KB: "What happened? How did I end up here? And what's in my mouth?"

There were a lot of strange times for me back in the early days of having two kids at home. I felt lonely. I felt bottled up, more than usual. I worked, as a writer then like I do now, but things were different then with that as well. It was around this time I started seeing my trainer for the first time and began my fitness quest, and that was also a huge uncertainty.

There were a lot of times where it was me struggling to find some sanity with two very young girls, one of whom depended on me for everything.

2-year-old Yvie with 5-day-old Kennedy

We did have fun, though. It wasn't all just struggles. Actually, I think we had more fun than anything.

Smile if you're a Dodgers fan

It felt like they would be like that forever. And now, they're both in school.

What this means for them is the chance to continue growing and developing and learning in a different environment, particularly for Kennedy. She's been dying to go to school for two years now and is thrilled with kindergarten, thrilled with being a bona fide big girl.

What this means for me is the chance to plan things, like runs, trips to the gym, work, meals, errands, etc. What this means for Mrs. LB is coming home to a clean house... wait, um, maybe I shouldn't get carried away...

Anyway, this is the first full week of school, the first full week where I have a clean slate for three hours a day, every day. It's not much time in the grand scheme of things but it feels like I have control over my schedule now. Sure, I'll have to take them and pick them up to and from school every day, and my parenting duties have really not lightened much if any, but I can plan things.

I can say "I'm going to run Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 8 a.m. this week" it won't be followed by an "if..."

I can say "I'm going to spend an hour on Thursday organizing my office" and I can make it happen.

I can say "I'm going to hang out at the beach" ... actually, I can't say that... darn...

So, on the one hand, it's a bit of a bummer that the girls are aging seemingly so quickly, but on the other hand, it's been a ride, these last seven years. We're done changing diapers. We're done taking our whole house out with us when we want to go eat. And I'm done with the damn treadmill (except for speedwork). We're done with that phase and that part of the journey.

And for all four of us in this family, the future suddenly seems so much more wide open now than it did one week ago.


5thsister said...

Enjoy this milestone! You will still be there for them before and after school. My milestone occurs a week from Wednesday when both my kids will be in "regular" rather than home school for the 1st time in 5 years! I don't know what I will do with myself!

Katie A. said...

What a great post LB, thanks for sharing ;)

I'm jealous that you're already there and I haven't even started yet! We're trying for a family now but really, all I want is a fun little 4 or 5 year old to hang out with. The diaper changing, the baby gear, the sleepless nights do not sound like fun! I want them to just come out ready to hang! LOL!
Congrats on getting here - enjoy your free time!